UK News In Brief
Jim Davidson warns about the danger of immigrants in The Independant Valiant voice of reason Davidson is again hoping to enlight us. In the article he explains why foreign people cannot be trusted in an entertaining update to the "Rivers of Blood" speech.
Coventry fly-tipper has van crushed by Jim Davidson After repeated offences the local council finally listened to the voice of sanity Davidson and destroyed the vehicle. The woke believe that rubbish can and should be dumped anywhere so it can naturally compost and heal the planet or something. The tireless crusade by Davidson to stop this nonsense was rewarded by allowing him to crush the vehicle - which he did with his bare hands.
Patriot arrested for loving country too much When asked why he has being detained by police Big Bob Brown said, "it's because I love Britain more than anything, maybe too much. It's nothing to do with pushing burning bins at coppers or setting light to hotels".
Following confusion with the voting slips a goose is elected mayor of Cleethorpes "I am really angry," said angry patriot Clive Cooper angrily, "I voted for the goose as I naturally assumed it was standing for Reform. How can the EU still be causing these problems?"
Patriots demand Microsoft UK pay less tax "It's just common sense," said Amanda Bush whilst demonstrating outside Parliment yesterday, "working people like me should be paying all the tax. Because then there's something called 'treacle down economics' and we all get rich. Well, that's what the The Telegraph says".Weather
A hellmouth in the Irish Sea will mean thunderstorms followed by clear skies in the south. The rest of the Britain will see mixed conditions.
MP to sue famous food chain over product quality